Before.

Before is always tricky. You have to be careful with expectations: yours and others'. Other people's expectations usually consist of an endless list of questions, from "where are you going to live?" to "you already have a job there, don't you?", or "how long are you planning to stay?". For sure I have no answer, to none of them. But that's the point. Before, I never answer questions. Mainly because I have no idea of what to say, so that anything could be a lie, but also because I'd like people to put less pressure on me. Here they are, my best friends right now - silent, patient, quiet and useful: a scale and a suitcase. 

No questions about my future, about my whys and hows. I know it will be hard in the beginning. These days are passing by like liquid moments, as if panic and desire could stop the time. Especially during the night, the noise of the clock is more like the sound of a bomb about to explode beside my bed. I'm awake but yet unable to think clearly about ..all the things I should think of. I should clean my room, set a list of priorities, check anything I casually dropped in the suitcase, check if I forgot anything important, call my grandmother like four or five times a day to make sure she's not getting mad for me and my future. But then I feel glued to my bed and I'm unable to think or do anything. So here I am. Glued to my bed. Any advices on how to get up and react to all this more lively?